Hi guys,
It’s mental health awareness week and I felt this was a good time to tell you my story, well a small part of.
The first thing I will say is I’m currently undergoing therapy to help me deal with my anxiety better as it affects my life more than you will know.
Pre 2008 I suffered depression in waves but overall it was managed well, on top of that I suffered very mild anxiety particularly health anxiety, which is because of my long stays in hospital due to CHD (congenital heart disease)
After I lost my mum in 2008 and subsequently diagnosed with Rheumatoid arthritis my life was turned upside down! I no longer had my support & reassurance my mum and boy did I need her, my life felt like it was in tatters, I honestly didn’t want to be living because I felt so alone and scared of dealing with life without my mum. In all honesty I never grieved for her which has caused a knock on effect to life.
Then in 2016 I lost my Nan and I was having issues at football, life was really dark. I cant not even tell you how much of a dark place I was in. I stopped eating on the 1st February 2016 because of my anxiety and wouldn’t drink for long periods (match days) because I was scared of something happening, it was a dark time.
Being honest with you life from that point has been awful at times, I’ve not wanted to live and totally shut myself off at other times radio silence. My anxiety was so bad especially around social events, so I stopped going, I didn’t go to a season of European always as everything frightened me. I was literally going to the doctors or food shopping and that was it. I also didn’t eaten any food for a long time.
This lead to me reaching out to my GP who was what I can only describe as a life saver quite literally. I had dropped to 4 stone 10lbs and was at a lot of risks, they asked me to go into hospital but I refused they even did a mental health assessment which because I had mental capacity they couldn’t make me go into hospital but it lead to community care.
I was seeing my GP basically every day, my dietcian every week and fighting for mental health assistance I was at crisis, in the worse place I’ve ever been and my life was in tatters.
However my life of football kept me going, I was lucky to have some thing to cling on to. My medical team supported me & said we want you young back to European aways & hearing your adventures again, we battled together.
Fast forward to now, right now I’m struggling with a depressive episode and its tough, I’m sleeping a lot but I know it will pass In time they always do.
But I’m now having therapy through i was officially diagnosed with General Anxiety, mild depression & OCD and I’m still struggling with my weight although I’m now nearly 6 stone and that’s good progress.
I have to thank my doctors what a team I have on my side, I probably should be dead with my weight loss and that’s no exaggeration he told me you could die virtually every appointment, I’m still fighting though!
But also some of my friends who stuck with me through the bad times & we celebrate the little moments & that includes my football friends because without them and the reassurance, insistence I was going & texts to keep me occupied id have not got to that point, so thank you Lee, Andy, Jamie, Neil, Ben, Chas & united for there help in the really tough times, they might get stick but they really supported me!
You never know what a person is going through, take time to listen & help to those that reach out & just a text can really turn a persons day from feeling isolated to feeling like some one cares.
Vicky xx
