Morning all,
Monday morning is always busy as I go food shopping. When I say food shopping it’s more like pet food shopping as that’s the majority of things I buy, gotta keep Ben, Toby & troopy In snacks! But I do buy human food to!
On a side note I don’t buy bens food as it gets delivered each month from Tails we’ve been with them for I think two years now! We get a large bag of dry food and foils of wet food, ben’s favourite is lamb infused with rosemary! But in all seriousness I have found it’s really good value and even better it’s delivered so I never have to worry about bens food if I’m poorly or can’t go out!
My cats have been treated as they had purina in Black Friday sale so I bulk brought 96 and I tell you my Troopy is loving life, it’s her favourite but really expensive so she doesn’t get it often, she normally gets Tesco, so I’m her favourite right now! Toby isn’t fussed as long as it’s food he’s happy!
Anyway back to Monday! I woke In pain & feeling a bit low, so I didn’t really speak much just got my food shopping done and had a wash and then was happy to be on my own with my music.
Talking of pain, it was a tough day for me pain was really bad particularly in my hip and arms, it’s never fun.
Now let’s be real, I suffer with chronic depression. So it just never really leaves me and people just don’t notice a lot of the time because it’s like a “smiley” depression you can often function but it can flip like a tossed coin. Yesterday was a bad day, I felt like I didn’t want to speak to anyone, I just wanted to sit and cry if I’m honest, nothing particularly set it off just a bad storm day in my head. The problem with this type of depression for me is it’s unpredictable and affects your life so badly, for me it’s not a chemical imbalance it’s a life time of crap causing it. But anyway because the depression was bad my anxiety was heightened and everything just made me on edge, it’s a an awful circle.
Just recently I was told I have OCD many people wasn’t surprised by this, but I was! Now as you can imagine with my other issues triggered I was a bit obsessive yesterday, I have to go round the supermarket in a planned route, other ways just stressed me out, and sends me into near tears, yesterday was a bad day. Then I had to check everything in 4’s I don’t know why it’s 4’s but it is.
Thankfully by the evening I was feeling less on edge and relaxed to music, talking to friends you know who you are and then had radio x on during the night, I listen to the radio all night or I can’t sleep!
Sometimes just chatting to familiar friends really helps. The good news is I woke up feeling less stormy in my head this morning!
Talking about my mental health isn’t always easy to write or read.
Lots of vicky hugs keep talking and smiling xx
