Good evening,
I’ve been struggling to write recently my brain hasn’t been fully in gear you see I’ve had a lot going on. Partly due to Paris and partly due to appointments.
You see Paris was great and that natural high in the game was out of this world. It also highlighted things that are hard to swallow how hard things are with travel these days. Also how much cobbles hurt, wow do they hurt in a wheelchair! It also showed me how hard the things I enjoy are getting, I’m starting to think my travel days are coming to an end, isn’t that sad? There’s still places I want to visit.
Don’t get me wrong getting to visit Paris and seeing the things I’ve wanted to visit for many years was amazing, I’ve always loved Paris, the romance of Paris, I’ve read books about Paris or based in Paris for more years then I can remember, but when I eventually got Togo in my mid 30’s riddled with disease I couldn’t appreciate the Paris I’d loved, the disease or the depression I don’t know?
Of course it’ll long live in my memory and I have the tickets and the pictures of that great night and I’ll forever be grateful and one day I’ll get round to putting a page together in my scrapbook of the night in Paris, my highlight.
Then we turn to friends. I am so grateful to the lads who have helped me and supported me. Also my girl friends who are equally ace! I do wonder though if it’s all too much I’ve thought about stepping away from social media as I guess I’m just to negative and I can’t pretend to be happy & positive all the time.
This passed week also saw me telling the wider world about the bully, it was such a relief of my shoulders to talk about it openly. However the one thing was the support from Man Utd fans was heart warming and something I hadn’t expected. It’s such a relief to not be dealing with it myself any more I can talk about it openly and my fears of going to away games because of “the bully” home games aren’t as bad as I have things In place at old Trafford.
Living with rheumatoid, depression & anxiety really affects my life daily and I try and hide it away from people because who wants to be the sick girl or the girl in a wheelchair. I just want to be Vicky that lass who likes football, that lass who I wouldn’t mind hanging out with. Not the girl who people think “disabled” or the girl who’s “sick” I’ve been here before in my early life with my CHD I was always the heart kid, I’ll always be “the one with the bad heart” where I’m from but there more to me than being sick I’m a person, a women, a mid 30’s lady who can be just as fun as anyone else if people give me a chance to get to know me.
Vicky xx
