Evening all,
Yesterday was match day, and I wasn’t feeling it, I think all the traveling has caught up with me, as I feel exhausted.
The journey up was strange, we got chucked off the motorway a few times, both on the m5 & m6 I’ve never been sent through Birmingham before! While we was travelling up I sent my lucky text! By the time I got to Manchester it was raining! Trust me I got soaked.
I had taken some cupcakes for my friends, I’ve learnt something new you can never find the lads at home matches as we are all so spread out! Needless to say I was soaked through so went down to my turnstile. I however did meet Barney from red news yesterday, lovely to meet him and if your a united fan check out red news!
Sat in my place on the platform the rain was coming down, the wind was bitter, I managed to stick it out until half time. At that point I took the unusual step of going into the ability suit area, well outside. I gave some cupcakes to friends who seemingly enjoyed them! 
We was exchanging cards & gifts and if I’m honest I broke down everything just got to much, I literally cried! Ann Marie told me to go in the ability suit to warm up, but I was to worried to go in there because “the bully & friends” were in there and if I didn’t go out in the second half I was worried about what they’d say about me, but I was broken. Helen gave me a hug, I think it’s the first I’ve had in a long time! 
I ended up in the ability suit after some reassurance for the first 15 minutes of the second half, with a steward & security guard! Jamie had a bottle of water then we went back out. Thankfully I’d warmed up a bit but I was just so sad, I can’t explain it.
After the game we went back to the car and got on our way, I had my charger so I was on edge and fell asleep, my default is to sleep when I’m anxious.
I briefly saw Andy bad gave him his birthday stuff!
Jamie’s uncle in law kindly had a portable charger and let me use it so I could keep up with things and it let me settle a bit. I realised listening to him talk just how lucky we are to see old traffic as it was his first time, the magic of it on your visit trip, I guess it taught me a lesson to absorb the magic, I through the bullying don’t feel it now, old Trafford represents to me fear and anxiety.
We soon arrived home and I was asleep before my head got settled on the pillow I am sure! 
I love football, I love my friends across united & blues, my football family but in truth I think it’s broken me just recently what with the bullying & recent mental health and physical health deterioration. As they say tomorrow’s another day and today I’m still so tired, maybe it’s time to step back from united & old Trafford for a few games and just enjoy being at home with the dog, and work on myself, maybe even head down to St. Andrews to see my friends both old & new.
Man Utd has broken me, the bully has broken me
Until next time old Trafford .. my old friend .. 

Vicky xx